Where Can I Take My Broken Heart?

By: Deb Kosmer
Monday, November 9, 2015

Is there a car wash? A doctor? A pharmacist? A healing bed? What is there for a heart that has been torn apart? Our heart? Deb Kosmer, nurse, writer and grief facilitator, helps you find the answers to these questions in this article about broken hearts.

by Deb Kosmer

When our cars get dirty and grimy and yucky, we take them to the car wash. And, lo and behold, they go through and wind up on the other side looking pretty good; clean and refreshed and ready to go where we take them.

When the ground outside becomes dry and hard and our plants and flowers begin to wilt, shrivel, and die, the rain comes and revives, revitalizes, and renews the ground and the flowers and plants. If the rain does not come naturally, we take matters into our own hands and we intervene; we help nature by running our sprinkler, or using a watering can. And, lo and behold, the ground becomes pliable again and our plants, flowers and lawn are bright and colorful and vibrant and showing new growth again.

When we become ill and our physical bodies aren’t working well, we go to the doctor or the pharmacy and/or to bed. We rest and nurture ourselves and allow time for the healing to begin.

Where do we go, though, with a heart—our heart—when it is broken, wounded, raw, numb, and perhaps even dead? Where do we take a heart—our heart—that we feel is beyond repair, that we believe will never love again? Where do we take a heart—our heart—that is afraid of exposure that wants to withdraw from the world and go within itself so deep that no one can find it or touch it or wound it again?

Is there a car wash? A doctor? A pharmacist? A healing bed? What is there for a heart that has been torn apart? Our heart?

There is a place to take a hurting heart—our heart—but it requires courage. It requires us to face our fears. It requires us to walk into our pain not turn or run from it. It requires us to release our tears, not hold them back, for with the release of tears comes release of pain. It requires us to remember our loved ones and why they were in our hearts to begin with and why they will remain there for always despite the fact that they died. It requires us to look anger, sadness, devastation, rage, guilt, doubt, fear, regret, remorse, and denial, straight in the face and express them out loud.

It requires the truth; that we say how we really feel, that we no longer mask the pain or hide the truth from others. In order to be vibrant and glowing, refreshed and renewed, we must first be who and what and where we are. We must live in this moment and all the muddy yucky moments to come. Then and only then can we come out on the other side with a heart no longer broken, a heart that still holds our loved one but a heart that can love and live again.


Leave a comment
Please enter the numbers and letters you see in the image. Note that the case of the letters entered matters.


Please wait

Previous Posts

Coping As A Family

Communication is the key for a family coping with grief. It is important to be together to talk, cry or even sit in silence. At the same time, there should be respect for each member's way of handl...


Sometimes in our grief, the sources of comfort come from the most unsuspected places. This is an absolutely beautiful story of love, a wedding, and how a wedding fiasco provided just the healing ne...

Living in the Moment

Deb Kosmer, writer, nurse and grief specialist, shares information about Living in the Moment when it isn't easy to face the next second. She writes: Living in the moment may sound like good a...

Music: Helping to Heal Those that Grieve

Tony Falzano, writer, composer and grief specialists writes: Emotions will rise when you listen to music. What usually follows is crying, even sobbing. This is okay and it should be welcomed. ...

No Room in the Canoe

Eloise Cole, Grief Specialist and speaker, writes: Many people live with the illusion of being in control of life, wanting to believe that they are in charge of their choices and their destiny...

On the Journey to Healing: Embracing the Ten Essential Touchstones

Alan Wolfelt, PhD, writer, counselor, funeral director and Grief Specialist, provides ten touchstones for your grief that will help you listen to your heart and bring it into harmony with your...

One Humid Night

Andy Landis, writer, song-writer and singer, shares her story about walking through a storm and really taking time to reflect on her feelings - she writes: "So I did. For three hours, I watched and...

Pathways to Peace

Richard Santore, author and editor, shares 10 suggestions or guideposts to help you find your way to hope, freedom and healing.  His coping strategies will give you peace of mind as you move t...

Role Model: How One Woman Lives Out the Role She Was Cast In

Rachael Zients, grieving child, mother, writer and grief specialist, shares the story about her Father's death and the book that her mother wrote about her after the death of her dad. Rachael share...

Single Again but Still a Parent

Being a single parent is not an easy job. It is even more difficult when your loved one has died and you are trying to deal with your own pain and grief as well as helping your children deal with t...