What to Expect When You Are Grieving
Monday, November 9, 2015
Deb Kosmer lists expectations for your journey through grief.
by Deb Kosmer
- Expect the unexpected.
- Expect to be different than you were.
- Expect that life will be different.
- Your expectations for yourself may be too high.
- Other people’s expectations of you almost certainly will be too high or unrealistic.
- Expect that, even when you start to have good days, there will still be bad days. That is the nature of grief.
- Two steps forward, two steps back.
- There is no formula.
- Expect to need others. Grief is difficult enough. It is more difficult if you try to do it alone.
- Expect that you will have questions. The questions may have to do with grief itself, the death of your loved one and/or may even be questioning God himself.
- Expect that, for some questions, there will not be answers and when there are, they may not be acceptable to you.
- Many people question why they are still here. You may, also. This kind of questioning is usually a search for finding meaning and a reason to go on and is not usually indicative of suicidal thoughts.
- Expect that, while you can do things to aid in your healing, it will happen on its own timetable, not yours.
- Expect that special days such as birthdays and anniversaries will be more difficult. Plan for them.
- Expect to be caught unaware by things that make you think of your loved one and invoke happy or sad feelings. These are called triggers.
- Expect to feel the sun again. Expect feelings of hope to return. Expect that life will be good again and, one day, it will.
Coping As A Family
Communication is the key for a family coping with grief. It is important to be together to talk, cry or even sit in silence. At the same time, there should be respect for each member's way of handl...
Sometimes in our grief, the sources of comfort come from the most unsuspected places. This is an absolutely beautiful story of love, a wedding, and how a wedding fiasco provided just the healing ne...
Living in the Moment
Deb Kosmer, writer, nurse and grief specialist, shares information about Living in the Moment when it isn't easy to face the next second. She writes: Living in the moment may sound like good a...
Music: Helping to Heal Those that Grieve
Tony Falzano, writer, composer and grief specialists writes: Emotions will rise when you listen to music. What usually follows is crying, even sobbing. This is okay and it should be welcomed. ...
No Room in the Canoe
Eloise Cole, Grief Specialist and speaker, writes: Many people live with the illusion of being in control of life, wanting to believe that they are in charge of their choices and their destiny...
On the Journey to Healing: Embracing the Ten Essential Touchstones
Alan Wolfelt, PhD, writer, counselor, funeral director and Grief Specialist, provides ten touchstones for your grief that will help you listen to your heart and bring it into harmony with your...
One Humid Night
Andy Landis, writer, song-writer and singer, shares her story about walking through a storm and really taking time to reflect on her feelings - she writes: "So I did. For three hours, I watched and...
Pathways to Peace
Richard Santore, author and editor, shares 10 suggestions or guideposts to help you find your way to hope, freedom and healing. His coping strategies will give you peace of mind as you move t...
Role Model: How One Woman Lives Out the Role She Was Cast In
Rachael Zients, grieving child, mother, writer and grief specialist, shares the story about her Father's death and the book that her mother wrote about her after the death of her dad. Rachael share...
Single Again but Still a Parent
Being a single parent is not an easy job. It is even more difficult when your loved one has died and you are trying to deal with your own pain and grief as well as helping your children deal with t...