The Power Within

Paul Alexander, songwriter and grief counselor, explains that grief is a process. There is freedom in acknowledging the need to go with the flow of what seems like a tidal wave. The only way through grief is to go through it. Every step is a step. There are not shortcuts. We must be true to ourselves in understanding our path. An intimate connection of life and love has been taken from our existence. If we broke a leg we would not argue that we needed rest and healing time. Can you allow yourself the care you need for the hurting part of you?

by Paul Alexander

Personal crisis and loss affect us on physical, psychological, spiritual and emotional levels. As we face our losses, many difficult emotions such as anger, guilt, depression, and tension can drain us and rob us of us of our power. Even when life is going well, these feelings are uncomfortable. When these feelings are experienced in the context of a major loss, we need to give ourselves time and permission to express and release the power of these emotional responses.

Emotions that go unexpressed are often the cause of physical ailments and sickness. It requires work to explore one’s emotional life. Some may disregard exploration of feelings in an attempt to bypass the pain and grief or to protect themselves against breaking down or falling apart. In an attempt to gain some control, it can seem easier not to think or talk about thoughts and memories. Yet in an atmosphere of safety and trust, expressing these emotions will be a major healing step. Although hope may seem like a distant memory, renewed energy and direction will come if we take a risk to unveil and understand the here and now of our feelings. We need to name the pain, feel it, and understand it.

Grief is a process. There is freedom in acknowledging the need to go with the flow of what seems like a tidal wave. The only way through grief is to go through it. Every step is a step. There are not shortcuts. We must be true to ourselves in understanding our path. An intimate connection of life and love has been taken from our existence. If we broke a leg we would not argue that we needed rest and healing time. Can you allow yourself the care you need for the hurting part of you?

Find ways to nurture your personal sense of power. Releasing negative feelings in a constructive way will free you to use energy for the tasks and responsibilities you face daily. Discover personal ways to express the difficult emotions. Take long walks on the beach and scream at the roar of the ocean. Then take time to feel the warmth of the sun on your face. Discover physical jobs or exercises that keep you moving and then spend time with a friend. Do mindless nonsensical things just to relieve your anguished heart and mind. Laugh out loud when someone says something that isn’t thoughtful or is inappropriate. Be daring. Breathe deeply. Don’t put yourself down.

Here are some questions to help you renew your personal power.

What feelings and emotions are causing you discomfort or tension?

I am angry that…

I feel guilty that…

I want…

Who can you talk to about these feelings?

How did your loved one help you feel strong? Imagine him or her giving advice in dealing with this difficult time.

What situations or relationships have recently robbed you of your power?

What can you do about these relationships or situations to constructively express your wish for something different?

What do you want most for yourself now?

What memory instills within you a sense of calm and well-being?

The color yellow. Thinking or mediating on the color yellow can help you reconnect to your personal power. Yellow is a color of inner calm and confidence. It is a color of personal power. It is a color of releasing negative feelings and purifying their harmful qualities. Yellow is a color of the will to move on. It is a color of warmth.

What things are yellow? Let the colors of the rainbow guide you. Choose one or two yellow things you can imagine when expressing difficult emotions or seeking a sense of power.

Is there any color you personally associate with inner calm, personal power, and confidence? Close your eyes and visualize the color yellow (or your chosen color) and imagine wrapping yourself in a blanket of confidence and inner calm.

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